How do you spell QUITTER? C-A-R-O-L-I-N-E K-E-N-N-E-D-Y?

When Caroline Kennedy put in her bid for Hilary Clinton’s open senate seat I was all: “NO WAY! Why should SHE be senator? She shouldn’t get it because she doesn’t want it enough. WHAT has she done to prove she deserves it? She’s been a media recluse all her life (understandably) and suddenly one day she wakes up, eats soul food with Jesse Jackson in Harlem in front of TV cameras, and then hires an expensive New York PR firm to convince the public (and pressure Gov. Patterson) into agreeing she should be a senator?!”

And everyone was all: “Caroline is AMERICAN ROYALTY! She is qualified for the senate seat because she is BFF with Obama, has great hair, and her laughter sounds like bells tinkling in the wind! How dare you suggest she isn’t qualified?”

So then I said “But she can’t even properly articulate why she wants to be a senator!” but began to concede “Well …I guess her dad did die for our country …and she DOES have nice honey colored highlights…”

And now:
Caroline has pulled her name out of consideration...
Quote from a friend “I think she pulled out because she didn’t like the public scrutiny and the media criticism.”
I agree.

Guess she couldn’t stand the heat…
(Welcome to politics Ms. Kennedy.)


Vaguely Artistic, Flickr

Remember when the adult entertainment industry wanted a bailout from Congress?

Quote:

"The porn industry needs a bailout, people, with the economy as sad as it is, trying to make their mortgage payments, they're just bewildered at what confronts them, so they don't even think about sex," the founder of Hustler magazine says. "So I think it's time for the government to step in and rejuvenate the libido and enjoy the one thing that's left that's still free…”

(Should we be appalled that the founder of Hustler can’t give a coherent quote, or should we just be resigned to this?)

The most arresting quote:
“The economic downturn has affected everybody," says Steven Hirsch, the CEO of Vivid Video. "People simply don't have as much money as they used to. The guy who used to spend $100 on adult content is now only spending $50."

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to shock everyone and feel bad for the porn industry? Rally for them…defend them…understand their cause…

Yea…not happening.

NPR story here…

Keep your lipo fat locked down

The following situation perfectly exemplifies why dating has the same success rate as walking a tightrope over the Atlantic in high heels and a pregnant elephant on your back.

So you go to South America on vacation and meet a sinewy, young medical doctor.
He is an idealist and he’s working in a small clinic charging locals nothing more than a corn pallet to sleep on and the occasional guinea pig to eat for his medical services. It melts your heart.

Next thing you know, you are both madly in love and you spend your days laughing, swatting mosquitoes off each other, saving lives, and eating ceviche. Then one day you passionately suggest: “Let’s go back to America—I want my family to meet you. They’ll love you as much as I do!”
And then he’s all “Eh, I can’t really go back to America hon.”
And you, delicately puzzled, respond: “But, why not sweetheart?”
And he says: “Well… I ran a successful private cosmetology practice in Beverly Hills but unfortunately I had to flee town when the government started investigating me because my patients filed lawsuits against me for using their leftover liposuction fat to run my SUV.”

WHAT!?

This is a true story. At least the whole Beverly Hills plastic surgeon moving to South America after being sued for running his car on patient liposuction waste part of the story is. Moral of the story: Next time you get lipo be sure to ask for your fat in a to-go bag; better to have it in your garbage disposal than your doctor’s range rover right?


Photo Credits
Riot Jane, Flickr
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tammys_world/1785770650/

Apparently an apple a day…means nothing when you are Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs is claiming his bad health is simply a hormone imbalance; if you believe that you probably also believe that Pamela’s Anderson’s chest was a gift from puberty to a small town Canadian girl destined for “great” things (such as marrying Tommy Lee Jones). Here’s a [slightly controversial?] Newsweek article discussing Steve’s/Apple’s grudging press release regarding his health.

I’m of two minds about this.

Perspective one: If you aren’t going to tell the truth, don’t say anything at all. A flimsy lie insults the public, inflames their curiosity, and makes them more investigative and vicious than ever. When you make yourself the face of your brand rumors and unwanted intrigue are an unavoidable byproduct (especially when your health is under scrutiny).

Perspective two (which I am more drawn to): A person’s poor health is a difficult personal struggle and if Steve doesn’t want to give the entire world a play-by-play of his doctor’s room consult that is his right and it should be respected. He’s given us sleek and sexy creative devices that feel like an extension of our personalities and have defined a generation—what more do people want from him?

There’s got to be nothing worse than:
Steve Jobs: “I don’t know how to tell you this but…I have cancer again.”
Close friend of Steve Jobs: “Oh no! Is it terminal this time? I need to know so I can sell my stock ASAP if need be.”

It’s a cold and lonely world at the top of a pile of shiny, lightweight Mac books.

Photo Credits
Joi, Flickr