Party Like an (Eco-friendly) Rock Star

Greenhouse—a new environmentally friendly club—opened up in Manhattan last week. Unfortunately they weren’t able to escape the typical paradox that everyone who tries to build green has to deal with:

“Mr. Husserl bought bamboo panels for the club’s walls, but that bamboo had to be shipped from China.”

“A+” for effort though. The entertainment and hospitality industry should be a part of the green movement—even if it starts with something as cliché as wheatgrass shots at the bar.


Photo Credits
Glennharper, Flickr

When a city runs out of men (PART 500)

Friend: I used to date a REALLY cheap guy.
Me (interest sparked): Really?
Friend (reminiscing): Oh yea! We would go to the movies and he’d say: “Do you really need to order that popcorn?”
Me: Haha.
Friend: Yea, he said popcorn was a conspiracy by the movie industry to get our money.
Me: Hahaha.
Friend: He wouldn’t get me cards—said the greeting card industry was designed only for the unnecessary purpose of making people part with their money.
Me: (still laughing).
Friend: He wouldn’t get me chocolates either and he’d explain that chocolates are another commercial conspiracy to snatch money from consumers.
Me (stop laughing): What?!
Friend: I never got flowers either. He’d say the flower industry was in cahoots with the chocolate industry. Every industry was part of a joint effort to make him part with his money. You can imagine what he thought of Valentine’s Day—he didn’t celebrate it. Said it was the biggest hoax of all.
Me: Wow, would he claim that he didn’t go to restaurants because the food industry was out to get his money?
Friend: No (pregnant pause). But we would order something like chicken and after every bite he’d say “Hmm! I coulda made this chicken at home.”


Photo Credits:
Booleansplit, Flickr

Capitalism + Inauguration + Recession Desperation = Fast Cash

Um. People in the DC area are renting out their homes to out-of-towners for up to $1000 a night for inauguration because the entire city is booked out?

(Pregnant pause while I thoughtfully chew on my pencil.)

(Thought bubble followed by an exclamation point.)

Ok.

Whispered in a back-alley hustler voice:
“Ok, check it, check it...this is the deal: Two bedroom apartment with hardwood floors, new appliances, two bathrooms and a balcony view of a concrete wall. 5 minute walk to the metro. Comes with garage spot—a little tight but I’ve seen my roommate successfully maneuver a tyrannosaurus rex sized SUV into it in less than four strokes. I’ll give you the inauguration sweetheart deal: For $495 you can get two nights and three days, unlimited cable +wireless, sewing machine access, two small American flags, a hastily sketched map of the inauguration route, a photograph of Barack Obama with a badly forged signature on it, binoculars, and a half used $15 Starbucks giftcard.”

Think about it.


I’m kidding.


Sort of.


But not really.




Photo Credits:
Robert Scoble, Flickr

Dear AUTO CEOs, why do you make it SO easy to throw tomatoes at you?

General Motors, Ford and Chrysler plead their case for a bailout on Capitol Hill earlier this week.

“This week, chief executives of the Big Three flew to Washington on luxury corporate jets to plea for rescue aid for their businesses. That did little to endear them to legislators — or voters — as they struggle with the deepest financial crisis in decades.”


Source: Green Inc. blog

Photo Credits:
When Cars were crap.
Kevin Dooley, Flickr

Somali pirates: biting off a little more than they can pillage.

Whoever thought piracy would be an ongoing front page news item in 2008? The LA Times is reporting that an Indian Warship, the Tabar, destroyed a Somali pirate ship earlier this week.

“More than 90 ships have been hijacked by pirates this year off the Horn of Africa. Since it arrived in the Gulf of Aden this month, the Tabar has escorted about 35 ships through the "pirate-infested" waterway, the Indian government said.”

I never saw the second and third sequels of Pirates of the Caribbean, but I think they should make this whole Somali piracy thing the main storyline for another installment of the series. It’s essential to keep Jack Sparrow and the multi-million dollar Disney budget, but it’s imperative to make a few minor adjustments… like have all the deck hands eat naan and make Keira Knightly run around screaming in a sari instead of a wet t-shirt.


Love this picture.
Photo Credits:
We are Pirates
Earcos, Flickr

Who doesn't want to stand in Yellowstone Park and inhale a deep breath of fresh oil fumes?

From a Washington Post article titled: EPA Moves to Ease Air Rules for Parks

“The Environmental Protection Agency is finalizing new air-quality rules that would make it easier to build coal-fired power plants, oil refineries and other major polluters near national parks and wilderness areas, even though half of the EPA's 10 regional administrators formally dissented from the decision and four others criticized the move in writing.”

“Documents obtained by The Washington Post show that the administration's push to weaken Clean Air Act protections for "Class 1 areas" nationwide has sparked fierce resistance from senior agency officials.”


Photo Credits:
Grand Prismatic Hot Springs, Yellowstone N.P
Oakley Original, Flickr

It may be a recession but at least the Dalai Lama is hiring...

During my morning internet travels I discovered two interesting articles:

1. A NYT Freakonomics blog post on Britain’s current sperm shortage.

Excerpt:
“Because there is no price that might help the market reach equilibrium, Britain has been forced to search elsewhere for donated sperm. The shortage is getting worse, with some women who want babies not having them, and others resorting to imported sperm.”

Imported sperm? Too easy. I reserve ALL comments.

2. A Time magazine article about China Bullying Tibet—what’s new?
The sparkly gem that caught my eye was the section on the Dalai Lama looking for a new successor.

"He's already indicated that he's ready to consider a number of non-traditional possibilities such as appointing a child successor now or having a lay person follow him around, or even contemplating having a woman successor," says Barnett. "This seems to be turning into the forum where they can discuss issues like that."

A female successor? Hiring women is SO trendy right now. Personally I think the Dalai Lama should go with the whole “child successor” route and pick Will Smith’s son Jayden. That kid is SO cute. How could you NOT hire him for the role of future Tibetan leader in-training?





Photo Credits:
Yves, Flickr

So you’re saying Bush DOESN’T sit around all day and watch Youtube videos??

Excerpt from a New York Times articled titled Lose the Blackberry? Yes He Can, Maybe.

"Sorry, Mr. President. Please surrender your BlackBerry. Those are seven words President-elect Barack Obama is dreading but expecting to hear, friends and advisers say, when he takes office in 65 days.”

"…Mr. Obama, however, seems intent on pulling the office at least partly into the 21st century on that score; aides said he hopes to have a laptop computer on his desk in the Oval Office, making him the first American president to do so."

No American president has ever had a laptop in the Oval Office? Geez, what sort of technology have they been using in there? An abacus and some Texas Rangers baseball cards?

The rest of the article is worth reading. It talks about how former presidents have handled the issue of personal email accounts (deleted them) and it speculates whether Obama will be allowed to use his Blackberry when he becomes president. A president’s personal email account has a high likelihood of being hacked (perfect example: Governor Sarah Palin’s yahoo account), and apparently use of a personal account might violate the Presidential Records Act—which enforces that all presidential correspondence is recorded.

My favorite part of the article was finding out George W. Bush’s old email address: G94B@aol.com.
I admit I was a bit disappointed though.
I thought it would be more colorful you know? Like Dubya@aol.com, or Cheneyspuppet@hotmail.com, or perhaps even Iraqiwar4eva@yahoo.com.

Photo Credits:
Caculator
Ansik, Flickr

The case of the straight men with the itsy bitsy quivering toy poodles.

It all started a couple months ago with one tiny frou-frou dog. Let me explain. I live in a condo primarily filled with snooty retirees who think renters, people under thirty, and condo residents that go out after 6:30pm are a vicious strain of bacteria that will bring property values down. I fall into ALL three of these categories so (understandably) they think I am Armageddon.

The day my roommate and I moved in, we were carrying an elephant sized bookcase into the condo when one of the residents came after us as if to assist us.
Resident: “Hey—excuse me!”
Us (grunting as we struggled to maneuver the bookcase, yet excited to greet our new neighbor): “Hi!”
Resident: “Please move your car from the loading dock—the residents don’t like cars there. Doesn’t look right.”
Us: “Well, right now we are MOVING IN which is why our car is parked at the LOADING DOCK. So until we finish, the residents can SUCK IT …UP.”
Okay fine—we didn’t say that. We were more like:
“Oh! Sorry! As soon as we are done (grunt, grunt) moving this bookcase (grunt, grunt) we’ll move the car! So sorry!”

Back to the story. The first couple of weeks after moving in I noticed there were about two tiny frou frou doggies living in the condo. One belonged to an outspoken, baldheaded resident on the first floor that could be regularly found complaining to building security about imaginary loud noises outside his door at 2am. The other dog—a tiny, trembling rat sized thing—belonged to a 70-year-old man with Woody Allen glasses that everyone firmly believes is a former ex-patriot.

Then something strange began to happen. Every morning and evening on my way to and from work, I started noticing the abundance of tiny frou frou dogs at our condo. They would be peeing in the bushes by the pool, shivering near the nets around the tennis court, tottering about in the elevators, or clumsily trying to jump into the dried out fountain near the guest parking lot. But what was even more intriguing than the sudden spike in the number of frou frou dogs was the similarity shared by the owners: They were ALL men. Really straight, “I don’t use dryer sheets because they are girly, I love watching football, memorizing sports statistics, and ogling cheerleaders” men.

How could this be? I wondered, while walking past a guy with sleepy eyes wearing a Red Skins jersey and holding onto the leash of his frou frou dog while it peed behind a bush at 7am. The men don’t seem particularly excited about the dogs—just irritated, embarrassed and inconvenienced. Which is understandable—there is nothing weirder than a macho guy walking past you while leading a toy poodle on a leash.

Obviously some of these men have live-in girlfriends or wives but still…quivering frou frou doggies? What about the rest of these guys?
AND, is this the new trend? The trend of the quivering frou frou dog? Have men just completely given up on masculine dogs? Understandably the constrained space in a condo limits the type of dog a person can get, but a Paris Hilton dog??

Is the era of the Jack Russell Terrier over? Or are the men in my building collectively getting some sort of 80 percent off discount + free Red Skins tickets deal from a local breeder that specializes in breeding miniature dogs with low self esteem?

Photo Credits
Tanakawho, Flickr

"If blogging's not a crime, why's Kareem doing time?"

From a friend at Amnesty International:…

"I went with Amnesty to protest outside of the Egyptian Embassy by the UN yesterday. It was over Kareem Amir, a blogger who was sent to prison for four years when he bad-mouthed the Egyptian government (yesterday marked his second year there). Egypt claims to have free speech, but obviously they don't, considering a blogger like you is in prison. We were shouting, "Blogging's not a crime, why's Kareem doing time?" I thought you would be proud.”

I am VERY proud.


Side note:
Kareem is a former law student who was arrested and jailed for blog posts that were considered anti-religious and critical of the Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. He insisted on his right to free speech and as a result was thrown in jail.

Lately, I’ve realized the value of freedom of expression and the importance of creating an environment where people don’t feel so intimidated they can’t express their opinions. Multiple points of view on issues are important even if you don’t agree with them. I am extremely grateful for the first amendment and for the right that Americans have to freely point out the flaws in our judicial system and to BLOG without getting censured.

Free Kareem!

Photo Credits:
Rev Dan Catt, Flickr

Arrested for prostitution? Who Cares? Officer, take the handcuffs off this upstanding gentleman!

A Quote from a fiery Newsweek article titled: Prosecuting John: Why allowing Eliot Spitzer to break the law is a mistake:

“Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned in March 2008 after it was discovered that he had used women in prostitution, a violation of New York's comprehensive anti-trafficking law. Last week, we learned that the former prosecutor will not be prosecuted for breaking the law.”

Step 1: Eliot Spitzer becomes governor and earns a reputation for being tough on DIRTY crime in New York City.
Step 2: The FBI notice suspicious financial transactions among Governor Spitzer’s accounts and put him under surveillance.
Step 3: The lid is publicly blown off his prostitution scandal, Spitzer resigns, and his attractive wife stands bravely next to him while all the criminals he prosecuted eat popcorn and happily make bets on whether she will leave him.
Step 4: The Department of Justice decides to DROP THE CASE—I’m sure the fact that Spitzer has buddies in the legal system because he was a former US Attorney General probably has NOTHING to do with this decision.

Reaction:

THE next time I get pulled over for SPEEDING and the officer wants to give me a ticket I will say:
“Officer, earlier this year former Governor Spitzer’s long history of hiring prostitutes was revealed to the public. The main prostitute involved in this scandal has received numerous financially profitable offers from adult men’s magazines to do cover spreads and currently has a hit song on itunes called What We Want. The former governor, after spending around 80 thousand dollars on call girls over the past few years, didn’t get as much as a pair of handcuffs slapped on his wrists. These two are sitting pretty after screwing over New York citizens (no pun intended) and you want to punish ME for doing 45 in a 30 MPH zone?”

(Undoubtedly 10 minutes later I would probably find myself in a jail cell charged with resisting arrest. Meanwhile Eliot Spitzer would be at Cipriani, drinking red wine and dining on the remaining brittle fragments of justice within our legal system).

Didn’t Spitzer learn anything from the Clinton impeachment? Geez, at least Bill didn’t have to pay the interns.

Red Carlisle, Flickr

Proposition 2: They did it for the chickens!

California voted for the chickens during the election last week. And by “voted for the chickens” I mean voted for Proposition 2. In simplified terms, proposition 2 is a piece of legislation that was proposed in California to give chickens, cows and pigs more leg room in their crates and battery cages.

In the midst of a Proposition 2 discussion with a friend, she turned to me and said: “With all the major problems going on in the world right now, we’re giving animals that are ABOUT TO DIE more leg room? Ridiculous!”

After our conversation I sat by myself and pondered it for what seemed like a LONG TIME. I mean a REALLY LONG time. I thought about all the times I’d tried to be a vegetarian but the aroma of KFC’s sweet honey wings had brought me back to the omnivore fold, I thought of all the tragic documentaries on slaughter houses, all the times I’d made fun of the PETA people that throw fake blood on everyone, and then I thought of all the turkeys that we—as a nation—are going to consume for Thanksgiving. And when my five minutes of self searching were up I came to a conclusion:

Why shouldn’t the people of California vote for proposition 2? How many times have I been frustrated at being cooped up and denied the option of stretching my legs while in a plane or on a bus? How many times have I despairingly stood in an elevator (for only 2 minutes) filled with pompous business suits pressed against me and thought I was going to EXPLODE? Or felt like I was going to have a claustrophobia-induced anxiety attack in a crowded metro car? Sure we’re going to eat these animals, and by George with the right seasoning and preparation they will taste delicious, but until then could we at least give them the dignity of some extra leg room?

Come on, if Jet Blue can do it for their passengers, can’t we do it for the chickens??


Photo Credits:
THP365, Flickr

If J. Crew were a house, what would it look like?

Who: Jenna Lyons
Profession: Creative Director of J. Crew
What: A photo slideshow + video tour of her HOUSE.
Which magazine: Domino
Analysis: Fabulous—check.it.out.

Her closet room takes my breath away.

Darling, drunk dialing is SO early 2000s…

A couple months ago Google released “mail goggles,” a program that stops people from “drunk emailing” between 10pm and 4am.
The program makes you complete 5 arithmetic problems in 60 seconds before granting you access to send out any emails.
Um. I can barely do ONE basic math problem on a calculator in sixty seconds.

At first I was confused…I didn’t even realize “drunk emailing” was a social problem, but apparently it is in email-addict circles.
I guess when you factor in that a lot of people have iphones, sidekicks and blackberrys—which function as phone and email devices—emails can be thoughtlessly sent anytime and anywhere (including at 4am on the dance floor of a bar while you are wearing a coconut bra).
But seriously: who has a chronic drunk emailing problem?

I’m just going to say what we are all thinking: this program was created by computer NERDS, FOR computer NERDS.


Photo Credits:
Essay
Martin Kingsley, Flickr

Anderson Cooper interviews a HOLOGRAM. What’s next CNN? A MUMMY interview?

Um, did anyone else see Anderson Cooper interviewing a HOLOGRAM of will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas during election night?
It felt creepier than when I sat next to that big bellied adult male dressed as a tooth fairy in a white tutu and cream stockings at an Asian fusion restaurant the other weekend.

CNN is outrageous sometimes. They’re so: “Oooooh we’re CNN and while other news outlets are struggling with the decline in paper readership, we have SO much money that we’re going to interview a hologram of a well-known musician on ELECTION NIGHT.” For the MILLIONITH time Will.i.am was being interviewed because of his celebrity studded “Yes We Can” video that supported Barack Obama, but COME ON. If you’re going unveil your HOLOGRAM TECHNOLOGY on election night at least interview someone with a bigger WOW factor. Wasn’t anyone else available like Nelson Mandela, Margaret Thatcher, or Darth Vader?

But let’s be honest, it’s Anderson Cooper.
He could interview a sloth taking a nap on a brittle piece of stale bread and we would still watch and breathlessly say: “Oooohh, groundbreaking journalism—he really worked the interviewee. Good work Cooper! Way to keep the interview objective and not hold the sloth’s inertia against him! Smile for the camera and blow me a kiss!”

PHOTO CREDITS:
TJRyan, Flickr

Apparently Hope is Contagious…

Here’s a Washington Post slideshow that showcases countries all over the world—from Indonesia to Iran—celebrating Obama’s win. In an age filled with global anti-American sentiment, the opportunity to see the world rejoice over our electoral candidate is extremely rare and very poignant.

Photo Credits:
Old Globe
Toastyken, Flickr

Nope, that’s not a hurricane. It’s just me breathing a sigh of relief that Palin is packing up.

Quick note:
VA—I’ve NEVER been SO PROUD of you, you ole’ tobacco growin’, former plantation ownin, cotton pickin’ state.

Here’s an interesting CNN article on Palin’s final effect on the McCain campaign.

As RELIEVED/ESTATIC/GRATEFUL that I am that she’s not vice president (WOOO HOOOO)…I never thought I would say this, but in a weird, twisted way I think I’ll miss her…

You know she’s DRUNK in a hotel room somewhere wearing moose antlers and pointing an empty shotgun at a former McCain aid screaming: “YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GO BACK. NOT WASILLA, NO! PLEASE, NO! TRACK, BABY TRIG, DO SOMETHING! THEY LOVED ME…AMERICA REALLY REALLY LOVED ME... DRILL, BABY, DRILL! JOE SIX-PACK? LIP...STHICK ON A PITBULL? THAT WAS ALL ME! I AM A STAR…I AMMA STHAR…”



She'll be back though. You betcha.

Photo Credits:
Malias, Flickr

11.04.08: Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words...

Joe Crimming's photography, Flickr

The SUPER BOWL of Politics..1, 2, 3 HIKE!

Washington DC will be insane this evening. Here’s a brief Washington Post chart of election watching parties in the city tonight (and this is just the tip of the iceberg).

There will be red drinks for Republicans, blue drinks for Democrats and white drinks for the undecideds. Even the Ritz is getting in on the election fun: “There will rotating drink specials. Each time a state is called for Obama, blue drinks will be half-price. When John McCain nabs one, it's time to order red.”

There’s a fierce energy right now in DC that comes from being in a political epicenter on Election night. There’s something to be said about watching election results around hard core political activists, Capitol Hill staffers who stand to lose their jobs depending on the outcome, immigrants who are observing the American political process, and regular, everyday citizens who are anxiously waiting for new leadership in our country. It’s an electrifying night, the end to an extremely turbulent yet significant race and I’m glad to be in the nation’s capital to experience it.


GAME TIME!

The Lawley's, Flickr