Dear hard news, it’s not me…it’s you.

I soak up every breaking news announcement, update, analysis, column, opinion, hard hitting story and news related blog post like bread dipped in broth. My brain functions like a newsroom: it’s constantly accumulating content, filing quotes, updating stories, and processing it all in my head. If I’m not consistently checking the news, I get mental hives and the news ticker in my cranium starts malfunctioning.

My hard news addiction became crystal clear to me earlier this week when I walked in on a group of friends casually talking about the heightened security on the metro in DC because of the Mumbai attacks. This observation propelled me into a long diatribe about the lack of safety in our country, the reality of the ailing job market, my irritation at the National Bureau of Economic Research for announcing news we’ve ALREADY known for a while, and my frustration at GM for their attitude of bailout entitlement in light of their internal mismanagement and lack of realistic corporate vision for their company.

I delivered my entire speech in one breath and when I was done I think my chest stung a bit due to oxygen deprivation in my lungs.

When I had finished, I realized that I had expelled the frail cheerfulness that had existed in the room when I had entered and replaced it with a thread of fear and misery that had curled around each individual and had eventually enveloped them all, the way cigar smoke does in a crowded parlor. One guy turned to me and said with disgust: “God, you’re as negative as a newscaster.” Another bitingly called me the grim reaper and told me he was surprised I wasn’t wearing all black and holding a sickle. And then everyone shuffled out of the room dejectedly. EVERYONE.

This made me think hard. Since when had I become so negative? I used to be light and carefree like those giddy little bubbles that inadvertently escape a bottle of dishwashing soap—but somewhere along the line I had gotten jaded and was now the social equivalent of an ice cold hot tub.

While discussing this with a friend later on she pointed out: “It’s the news. The news is EXTREMELY negative these days. You are always reading the news. You do the math. Maybe you should stop reading it so much—it’s getting to you. It’s affecting your outlook.”

And then I realized she was right.

Now, completely abandoning the news is simply impossible—that would make me end up with a panic attack in a hospital emergency room with doctors trying to sedate me while I anxiously scream: “JUST READ ME THE FRONT PAGE HEADLINES …NO?....THEN AT LEAST THE OPENING PARAGRAPH FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS HOMEPAGE …”

But I will try to reduce how much hard news I consume during the next 7 days in order to clear my head.
Here is the plan of action:
First: I will check the news less frequently—life will be okay if I don’t get an hourly update. Besides if something HUGE and noteworthy happens—like if shaky, youtube footage of Hillary Clinton, Madonna and Sarah Palin playing hopscotch together in the White House emerges—someone is bound to alert me about it.
Second: I will not write about anything news related—unless it’s positive—for TWO WHOLE weeks.


[Cricket, cricket]


Hello writer’s block...