When a city runs out of men (PART 500)

Friend: I used to date a REALLY cheap guy.
Me (interest sparked): Really?
Friend (reminiscing): Oh yea! We would go to the movies and he’d say: “Do you really need to order that popcorn?”
Me: Haha.
Friend: Yea, he said popcorn was a conspiracy by the movie industry to get our money.
Me: Hahaha.
Friend: He wouldn’t get me cards—said the greeting card industry was designed only for the unnecessary purpose of making people part with their money.
Me: (still laughing).
Friend: He wouldn’t get me chocolates either and he’d explain that chocolates are another commercial conspiracy to snatch money from consumers.
Me (stop laughing): What?!
Friend: I never got flowers either. He’d say the flower industry was in cahoots with the chocolate industry. Every industry was part of a joint effort to make him part with his money. You can imagine what he thought of Valentine’s Day—he didn’t celebrate it. Said it was the biggest hoax of all.
Me: Wow, would he claim that he didn’t go to restaurants because the food industry was out to get his money?
Friend: No (pregnant pause). But we would order something like chicken and after every bite he’d say “Hmm! I coulda made this chicken at home.”


Photo Credits:
Booleansplit, Flickr